flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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