I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
