so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
