I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
