I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
