goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize