i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
