My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
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The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
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I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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