I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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