Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
