How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
