ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
