i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
