Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
