I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
