I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
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My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
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I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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