I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
