I'm going to jail i love you
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
