ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Never underestimate the power of titties
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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