if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
How external is "for external use only"?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
