A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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