i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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