Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize