How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
