imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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