so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
