at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
