I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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