I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
