the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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