I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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