I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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