I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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