you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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