Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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