Pants 0. Shit 1.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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