So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
