i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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