Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
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Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
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She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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