I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize