Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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