You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
