Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
