ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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