Ambien. No doubt about it.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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