One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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