He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
