How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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