Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
