I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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