I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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