i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
