Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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