so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
