im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
mondays should just be called national damage control day
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
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